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” Some people think of women experiencing sexual pleasure or arousal by themselves the way kids think of teachers outside of school.

During my preteen and teen years, I felt perverted, self-indulgent, and guilty for masturbating.Of course, masturbation can be done in front of someone else.But when women are taught to think about how they look, feel, and sound in the midst of it, it takes them out of the moment and makes pleasure hard to achieve.The depiction of women’s masturbation as a performative act takes women out of their bodies, leading them to objectify themselves even while they masturbate – a time typically designated to be totally about ourselves and not how we look to anyone else.As I’ve been exposed to more and more media depictions of sex, even supposedly empowering articles and videos about women’s pleasure, I’ve begun to imagine how a partner would perceive me while I masturbate, monitoring how my face looks and practicing orgasm noises even though I’m naturally silent.

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